18 August, 2011


Some of my friends once worked for the ‘Haagen-Daz’ distributors here in Miami Florida. Maybe they still do. It was a very big operation with freezers the size of a warehouse and temperatures below zero. There was office staff and deliver route drivers but only one warehouse supervisor. His job was to count everything that went into and out of the huge freezer.

Since the freezer was very cold this fellow wore a snow suit to stay warm. Of course he rolled up the sleeves a bit to accommodate a clipboard and pen but the rest of him was insulated and comfortable.

Over time I noticed that the hair on his forearms began to grow thicker and more dense. Our group of friends would sometimes meet over the weekend for burgers and a pool party. Whenever he came outside it was easy to notice that although most of his body had a regular amount of hair, it was his forearms that seemed a bit over grown. The forearms had a kind of Popeye-like quality. The arms seemed much larger and a bit out of proportion because of the overgrown hair.

And it started me thinking. The rest of his body was covered with a snowsuit and the preponderance of hair seemed normal apart from the forearms. I concluded that over time his body was able to detect a great difference in temperature on the forearms and stimulated those hair follicles specifically to produce added growth. It seemed the only plausible explanation.

And so I began to wonder about the baseball cap wearing guys who frequent the neighborhood. I feel that they are doing the opposite to their hair.

By covering their heads they are telling the body that the head is warm enough and does not require added hair growth. And so the hair thins and dissipates. It seems like a certain recipe for baldness.

When I mentioned this theory to some of my new friends they were unconvinced. I guess most people feel that the body is not capable of responding to external stimulus so rapidly.

They suggested that the best way to keep a healthy head of hair was to soak your head in the freezer.

I wonder if that would work?

16 March, 2011


Who doesn’t love a good rhyme? Save the Waves. See the USA in your Chevrolet. Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’, have a bee in your bonnet?
 In like fashion Americans have embraced alliteration as a memory aid ever since we ‘sailed the seven seas’. ‘I before E except after C’. Oh, there are plenty more examples and in every walk of life. Our dictionary states the following:

 Our dictionary describes alliteration as something like; the commencement of two or more stressed syllables of a word group either with the same sound or sound group (vocalic alliteration).

Cartoon figures. Almost all of the lovable characters to populate our animated tales feature alliterative names; Fred Flintstone, Bugs Bunny, Mickey and Mighty and Minnie Mouse, Pink Panther, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig and more. You can add to this list at your leisure.

 So it’s not surprising that product vendors and manufacturers of all kinds have availed themselves of this popular technique. Alliterative product names include: Dirt Devil, Swisher Sweets, Stanley Steamer, Bacon Bits, French Fries, Coca Cola, Rocky Road… think about it.

Celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, Alan Alda, Hulk Hogan and Greta Garbo changed their names to become alliterative. Rachel Ray, Courtney Cox, Steven Spielberg, Sylvester Stallone, Charlie Chaplin, Wendy Williams, Barry Bonds, Kim Kardasian, Vince Vaughn and many others still use their given names. Marion Morrison actually became less alliterative when he changed his name to John Wayne.

Politics has its’ own alliterative presence. Herbert Hoover, Ronald Reagan, Oval Office, Woodrow Wilson, et al.

There’s lots of comic book characters too: Peter Parker (Spider Man), Clark Kent (- Superman -same sound different letters), Lois Lane, Lex Luther etc.

I suppose you wonder why this is significant?

It’s how we are conditioned. It rhymes. It’s poetic. It lilts. It’s a twirl in the sun that creates a connection.