18 August, 2011


Some of my friends once worked for the ‘Haagen-Daz’ distributors here in Miami Florida. Maybe they still do. It was a very big operation with freezers the size of a warehouse and temperatures below zero. There was office staff and deliver route drivers but only one warehouse supervisor. His job was to count everything that went into and out of the huge freezer.

Since the freezer was very cold this fellow wore a snow suit to stay warm. Of course he rolled up the sleeves a bit to accommodate a clipboard and pen but the rest of him was insulated and comfortable.

Over time I noticed that the hair on his forearms began to grow thicker and more dense. Our group of friends would sometimes meet over the weekend for burgers and a pool party. Whenever he came outside it was easy to notice that although most of his body had a regular amount of hair, it was his forearms that seemed a bit over grown. The forearms had a kind of Popeye-like quality. The arms seemed much larger and a bit out of proportion because of the overgrown hair.

And it started me thinking. The rest of his body was covered with a snowsuit and the preponderance of hair seemed normal apart from the forearms. I concluded that over time his body was able to detect a great difference in temperature on the forearms and stimulated those hair follicles specifically to produce added growth. It seemed the only plausible explanation.

And so I began to wonder about the baseball cap wearing guys who frequent the neighborhood. I feel that they are doing the opposite to their hair.

By covering their heads they are telling the body that the head is warm enough and does not require added hair growth. And so the hair thins and dissipates. It seems like a certain recipe for baldness.

When I mentioned this theory to some of my new friends they were unconvinced. I guess most people feel that the body is not capable of responding to external stimulus so rapidly.

They suggested that the best way to keep a healthy head of hair was to soak your head in the freezer.

I wonder if that would work?